Wednesday, March 18, 2009
A Triumphant Return
After 24 days, 6600 miles, and 110 hours of driving time, we have returned. Thanks for all of your support. It was memorable to say the least. Go Cards!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
San Francisco: A Couple of Days with the Tanners
I have to start by saying L Yes. How bout them Cards taking the Big East regular season title? Boom.
I am currently writing from the Alpha Inn and Suites in San Francisco. Matt, Beau, Andrew, myself, and our most recent addition, Blaine the Mane, just returned from a big day in the city. We started it off with a bang by walking across the Golden Gate Bridge... it was incredible to say the least. We were blessed with clear skies, a light breeze, a stunning view of Alcatraz, and of course, good company. We took advantage of the Rice-a-Roni version of TARC and high-tailed it to Chinatown - the real Chinatown. We were all expecting to see paper dragons, chickens running around, jellyfish and octupi hanging from booths, and people wearing Yao Ming Rockets jerseys. Instead we were bombarded by Chinese restaurant owners running out of their rightful places of business begging us to partake in a MSG-filled dinner. After some browsing, we decided to dine at the "Chinatown Restaurant." Creative name, huh? Nonetheless, it was pretty scrumptious, besides the sporadic swallows of little plants dispersed in the hot tea.
From there we took it to the streets and thought we would dabble in a local saloon for a cocktail. With that in mind, we walked into an establishment so aptly-named "The Saloon." This shouldn't be so bad, right? We were greeted with locals' looks that said, "I hope these kids get piss-drunk so we can introduce them to our fists of fury." No big deal. Being the proud Kentuckians that we are, we decide to order some bourbon drinks. Our facial expressions after our first sips were priceless. This bourbon tasted like Helen Keller distilled the bourbon herself from the "Make Bourbon From Home Kit" from the SkyMall magazine. Seriously, there was no way our drinks were bourbon. Oh well, do as the Romans do. That doesn't really apply, but atleast the Cards are Big East champs. Drink it in. Tomorrow, with much thanks to the Gandolfos, we embark for Alcatraz to get engulfed by some real bad-ass history. We are absolutely going to attempt to get locked up in the Capone cell, as well as say, "Welcome to the Rock" in our best Sean Connery accent. After San Fran, we will set sail for Lake Tahoe and Reno on Thursday.
On the other hand, I have to say the drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco along the Pacific Coast Highway was the most beautiful drive we have done thus far. We drove through Malibu, which is home to Pepperdine University, a higher learning institution located on top of a hill overlooking the mighty Pacific. Must suck being an undergrad there. Moving along through gorgeous mountains, switchback roads, fluctuating elevations, and awesome vistas of the blue Gatorade-colored surf, we stopped for lunch in Morro Bay, CA. This quaint coastal town was very welcoming. We had some quality seafood at the Outrigger Grill sitting on the water looking out at the sailboats. We were greeted by a seal swimming through the harbor while enjoying our meal. How did that guy land Heidi Klum? We wrapped up our departure and continued on our way along Highway 1 towards our campsite for the night at Big Sur. One of the coolest parts of the day was when we stopped on the side of the road along the coastline and walked up within five feet of a bunch of snoozing elephant seals. These guys were pleasantly chubby and flubby.... now I know why Great Whites love to chow down on them. This experience really "sealed the deal" that this journey is something we will never forget.
After some more beautifully challenging driving, we made it to our campsite at Big Sur. We set up camp in a huge field only 1/4 mile from the shoreline where we were instanlty met by the park's greeting committee of deer and prarie dogs. Before we built a fire and got our Bear Grylls on, the crew headed down to the shoreline for sunset. The scenery was breathtaking- a running rapid emptying into the Pacific, a jagged/ragged rocky beach, and lush green mountains at our backs. Blaine said it best- it really looked like we were sitting inside the Sierra Nevada beer label. There was also a hilarious series of events involving Andrew attempting to cross the river... only he can tell such a tale. Let's just put it this way- Mother Nature ensured that we are mere bread crumbs in the buffet of life. Moving on, we set up shop atop a twenty foot boulder on the shore for a magical sunset. Honestly, there are not many more spectacular sights as watching the sun drop behind the horizon while the moon is inversely rising behind the mountains behind you. This is what songs are written about. This is why movies are made. This is what makes people leave their jobs in order to embark on such a journey. This is where babies come from. Bottom line- The English language does not contain enough beautiful adjectives to describe Planet Earth.
Until next time, Go Cards!
-- Adam Shircliff --
"Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same. With all of our runnin' and all of our gunnin', if we weren't all crazy, we would go insane."
I am currently writing from the Alpha Inn and Suites in San Francisco. Matt, Beau, Andrew, myself, and our most recent addition, Blaine the Mane, just returned from a big day in the city. We started it off with a bang by walking across the Golden Gate Bridge... it was incredible to say the least. We were blessed with clear skies, a light breeze, a stunning view of Alcatraz, and of course, good company. We took advantage of the Rice-a-Roni version of TARC and high-tailed it to Chinatown - the real Chinatown. We were all expecting to see paper dragons, chickens running around, jellyfish and octupi hanging from booths, and people wearing Yao Ming Rockets jerseys. Instead we were bombarded by Chinese restaurant owners running out of their rightful places of business begging us to partake in a MSG-filled dinner. After some browsing, we decided to dine at the "Chinatown Restaurant." Creative name, huh? Nonetheless, it was pretty scrumptious, besides the sporadic swallows of little plants dispersed in the hot tea.
From there we took it to the streets and thought we would dabble in a local saloon for a cocktail. With that in mind, we walked into an establishment so aptly-named "The Saloon." This shouldn't be so bad, right? We were greeted with locals' looks that said, "I hope these kids get piss-drunk so we can introduce them to our fists of fury." No big deal. Being the proud Kentuckians that we are, we decide to order some bourbon drinks. Our facial expressions after our first sips were priceless. This bourbon tasted like Helen Keller distilled the bourbon herself from the "Make Bourbon From Home Kit" from the SkyMall magazine. Seriously, there was no way our drinks were bourbon. Oh well, do as the Romans do. That doesn't really apply, but atleast the Cards are Big East champs. Drink it in. Tomorrow, with much thanks to the Gandolfos, we embark for Alcatraz to get engulfed by some real bad-ass history. We are absolutely going to attempt to get locked up in the Capone cell, as well as say, "Welcome to the Rock" in our best Sean Connery accent. After San Fran, we will set sail for Lake Tahoe and Reno on Thursday.
On the other hand, I have to say the drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco along the Pacific Coast Highway was the most beautiful drive we have done thus far. We drove through Malibu, which is home to Pepperdine University, a higher learning institution located on top of a hill overlooking the mighty Pacific. Must suck being an undergrad there. Moving along through gorgeous mountains, switchback roads, fluctuating elevations, and awesome vistas of the blue Gatorade-colored surf, we stopped for lunch in Morro Bay, CA. This quaint coastal town was very welcoming. We had some quality seafood at the Outrigger Grill sitting on the water looking out at the sailboats. We were greeted by a seal swimming through the harbor while enjoying our meal. How did that guy land Heidi Klum? We wrapped up our departure and continued on our way along Highway 1 towards our campsite for the night at Big Sur. One of the coolest parts of the day was when we stopped on the side of the road along the coastline and walked up within five feet of a bunch of snoozing elephant seals. These guys were pleasantly chubby and flubby.... now I know why Great Whites love to chow down on them. This experience really "sealed the deal" that this journey is something we will never forget.
After some more beautifully challenging driving, we made it to our campsite at Big Sur. We set up camp in a huge field only 1/4 mile from the shoreline where we were instanlty met by the park's greeting committee of deer and prarie dogs. Before we built a fire and got our Bear Grylls on, the crew headed down to the shoreline for sunset. The scenery was breathtaking- a running rapid emptying into the Pacific, a jagged/ragged rocky beach, and lush green mountains at our backs. Blaine said it best- it really looked like we were sitting inside the Sierra Nevada beer label. There was also a hilarious series of events involving Andrew attempting to cross the river... only he can tell such a tale. Let's just put it this way- Mother Nature ensured that we are mere bread crumbs in the buffet of life. Moving on, we set up shop atop a twenty foot boulder on the shore for a magical sunset. Honestly, there are not many more spectacular sights as watching the sun drop behind the horizon while the moon is inversely rising behind the mountains behind you. This is what songs are written about. This is why movies are made. This is what makes people leave their jobs in order to embark on such a journey. This is where babies come from. Bottom line- The English language does not contain enough beautiful adjectives to describe Planet Earth.
Until next time, Go Cards!
-- Adam Shircliff --
"Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same. With all of our runnin' and all of our gunnin', if we weren't all crazy, we would go insane."
Monday, March 9, 2009
Meet the New Member of the Team.
After a weekend filled with auditions in Hollywood our search for the fifth road tripper is complete. Congratulations to Mr. Blaine Lawrence and thank you to everyone who tried out, better luck next year.
Full Name: Blaine Bryan Lawrence
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 170
Hometown: Saint Matthews, KY
Parents: Gary and Karen
Siblings: Ben and Jennifer
Date of Birth: 2/7/1986
High School Coach: Mark Cateltt
High School Mascot: Bruins
College: Cayuts
Major: Rocket Science
Favorite Athlete: Fred Couples
Favorite Food: Lima Beans
Favorite Number: 6
Best Advice Ever Given: Beer and Gasoline don't mix.
Motto: Rip down the rear view mirror
Favorite Vacation Spot: Atlanta
Chose our road trip over Las Vegas, Skiing in the Canadian Rockies, and cheein in Aspen
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The Grand Canyon, a very appropriate name.
Before I start my next post I just want to take this opportunity to congratulate Beau on his first post. It wasn’t easy for the little guy to bust it out but from what I hear it is very entertaining and filled with creative liberties. I’m sure it is real witty and cute and over exaggerated much like most of Beau’s stories. I myself will opt not support his efforts by reading the post. Way to go Beau, hope your back gets better.
O and by the way Judas was by far the best singer/dancer in Jesus Christ Superstar.
All of us have memories of flipping through books in our grade school’s library gazing at pictures of some of our nation’s most storied landmarks. Images of Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and of course the Grand Canyon have become all too familiar as they develop into nothing more than just a side picture with a caption underneath it in a textbook. You never will realize how amazing these places are until you see them in person and the Grand Canyon is the perfect example of that. We woke up bright and early on Tuesday morning, put on our coziest socks and laced up the hiking shoes in anticipation for our hike down the canyon. We decided to tackle the South Kaibab Trail (which s the longest one they said we can knock out in one day) and take it all the way down to a great look out spot called Skeleton Point. The pictures we took on that hike are the kind of pictures that stick with people for a lifetime. If I didn’t know any better I would think they were taken at Universal Studios in front of a green screen. Unlike the rest of our post there isn’t really any humorous tales or cheeky anecdotes, just some unreal views and a pain in the ass hike back up. The Grand Canyon is one of definitely one of those places that you have no excuse to never check out. One tip, if your trying to ride some donkeys you better plan ahead, they are booked a year in advance.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Vegas Baby, Vegas!
This is being written at 2:17 am Pacific time in Las Vegas, NV. Some of you are wondering why I am not asleep right now. Those of you who really know me are wondering why I am not: a) at the gambling tables b) at the strip club c) wondering the streets looking for kicks. Well the response to those quandaries is that a night like tonight needs to documented ASAP before details are lost and while the rush is still going strong.
Our original expectations of Vegas were pretty much unattainable. We EXPECTED to all hit it big and fly out to Hawaii for three or four days on our winnings. We have had a lot of anticipation for certain sites along our already epic journey, but none could match the butterflies in our stomachs as we made the trip from the Grand Canyon to the City of Bright Lights. The four hours in the car seemed like an eternity.
The plan was to stay with a friend way off the strip and then maybe maybe get one good shot to make things happen in the Casinos. BUT thanks to the generosity of the Shircliffs, we instead have a room in the Bellagio for two nights in the middle of everything (J am writing this as I stare at an endless array of lights outside our window on the 26th floor).
There would be no getting our feet wet before jumping in the pool; instead we opted to spring off the high dive doing a double front tuck into the unknown depths of the deep end. BIG MISTAKE. Before we knew what hit us, we were all down anywhere from 75 to 100 dollars and wondering if we could catch Conan before hitting the sack. Plus once again the CATS disappointed us. This is where the generosity of Mr. and Mrs. McCrea would lead us down a path that none of us will ever forget. It was like we were the scared little kids hesitating to go down the big slide and they gave us the necessary push that would lead us to ride of our lives.
With morale at an all time low, we met with Mrs. McCrea who had a Vegas cherry popping gift for us. The gift was $100 cash. Of course that pumped everyone up, knowing we could at least recover some of our losses. BUT it came with a one stipulation. We had to let it all ride on red in the fickle game of Roulette.
We through the money down on the table and watched with unequivocal intent as that damn white ball spun forever around that wheel. Eyes shut, heart beating out of chest, “RED 23!” We were back in the game and riding higher than Bob Marley before a sold out concert.
With the adrenaline flowing we had a quick team meeting. What do we do now? Split the winnings and go our separate ways? What would the McCrea’s want us to do? We all knew the answer before anyone spoke. “LET IT RIDE!” We took our winnings to the black jack table for one hand. Nervousness was an understatement. We were high school seniors before the senior prom before our gorgeous 23 year old date arrived. First card 10 of hearts. Damn that s a good start. “Give us the ace!” After an eternity we saw the dealer reach into holder and pull out our second card. Ace of spades. Blackjack! “Damn, I need a drink,” that’s all I could think to say. We had turned that $100 into $500 in matter of minutes.
We split up $400 and took our $100 profit to gamble with as a group to several other casinos. We managed grind out another $100 profit on top of that over the next several hours. More importantly those two big bets was all the confidence we needed to ride out a great night on the strip. We gave high fives to strangers, Beau turkey trotted down the strip, Matt took a bath mid session to mellow out, and Adam worked up an initial big loss into a personal $70 gain. The night rounded out on one final blackjack table where Leng our dealer was thrown serious knucks after she busted time and time again. And our neighbor on the table kept trying to split a 7 and a 5, while looking to his beer bottle for advice on whether to hit or stay.
Matt capped off the night by throwing $100 down on red. “We didn’t come to Vegas to lay up!” No my friend, we did not. At this point we were a perfect 8 for 8 on red on Roulette. Sure enough red 29, and Matt throughout his crazy eyes and cheesy smile. Why? Because that’s what Matt does. He gets excited and throws out his crazy eyes and cheesy smile.
Quick recap of events. We were down and out and rallied from the depths of the Vegas pit, where so many fortunes have been los, to come out of top of the world.
Special thanks Jenny, an Asian dealer, who taught me how to do the parachute and the squid. They are both a play off the traditional knuckle bump.
Our original expectations of Vegas were pretty much unattainable. We EXPECTED to all hit it big and fly out to Hawaii for three or four days on our winnings. We have had a lot of anticipation for certain sites along our already epic journey, but none could match the butterflies in our stomachs as we made the trip from the Grand Canyon to the City of Bright Lights. The four hours in the car seemed like an eternity.
The plan was to stay with a friend way off the strip and then maybe maybe get one good shot to make things happen in the Casinos. BUT thanks to the generosity of the Shircliffs, we instead have a room in the Bellagio for two nights in the middle of everything (J am writing this as I stare at an endless array of lights outside our window on the 26th floor).
There would be no getting our feet wet before jumping in the pool; instead we opted to spring off the high dive doing a double front tuck into the unknown depths of the deep end. BIG MISTAKE. Before we knew what hit us, we were all down anywhere from 75 to 100 dollars and wondering if we could catch Conan before hitting the sack. Plus once again the CATS disappointed us. This is where the generosity of Mr. and Mrs. McCrea would lead us down a path that none of us will ever forget. It was like we were the scared little kids hesitating to go down the big slide and they gave us the necessary push that would lead us to ride of our lives.
With morale at an all time low, we met with Mrs. McCrea who had a Vegas cherry popping gift for us. The gift was $100 cash. Of course that pumped everyone up, knowing we could at least recover some of our losses. BUT it came with a one stipulation. We had to let it all ride on red in the fickle game of Roulette.
We through the money down on the table and watched with unequivocal intent as that damn white ball spun forever around that wheel. Eyes shut, heart beating out of chest, “RED 23!” We were back in the game and riding higher than Bob Marley before a sold out concert.
With the adrenaline flowing we had a quick team meeting. What do we do now? Split the winnings and go our separate ways? What would the McCrea’s want us to do? We all knew the answer before anyone spoke. “LET IT RIDE!” We took our winnings to the black jack table for one hand. Nervousness was an understatement. We were high school seniors before the senior prom before our gorgeous 23 year old date arrived. First card 10 of hearts. Damn that s a good start. “Give us the ace!” After an eternity we saw the dealer reach into holder and pull out our second card. Ace of spades. Blackjack! “Damn, I need a drink,” that’s all I could think to say. We had turned that $100 into $500 in matter of minutes.
We split up $400 and took our $100 profit to gamble with as a group to several other casinos. We managed grind out another $100 profit on top of that over the next several hours. More importantly those two big bets was all the confidence we needed to ride out a great night on the strip. We gave high fives to strangers, Beau turkey trotted down the strip, Matt took a bath mid session to mellow out, and Adam worked up an initial big loss into a personal $70 gain. The night rounded out on one final blackjack table where Leng our dealer was thrown serious knucks after she busted time and time again. And our neighbor on the table kept trying to split a 7 and a 5, while looking to his beer bottle for advice on whether to hit or stay.
Matt capped off the night by throwing $100 down on red. “We didn’t come to Vegas to lay up!” No my friend, we did not. At this point we were a perfect 8 for 8 on red on Roulette. Sure enough red 29, and Matt throughout his crazy eyes and cheesy smile. Why? Because that’s what Matt does. He gets excited and throws out his crazy eyes and cheesy smile.
Quick recap of events. We were down and out and rallied from the depths of the Vegas pit, where so many fortunes have been los, to come out of top of the world.
Special thanks Jenny, an Asian dealer, who taught me how to do the parachute and the squid. They are both a play off the traditional knuckle bump.
An Anecdote: By Beau "Yum Yum Watch Yo Snacks" Taylor
Writing is not my forte… but as the great Kevin Mcalister once said…. “ill give it a whirl.”….
Many of you probably know Matt Gandolfo as the nice, happy go lucky, charismatic guy that he pretends to be. A select few of us ( Cresca’ Estates tenets) know Matt Gandolfo as the Emperor of Back Stabbers or Mr. Fake nice guy or his most common alias, Judas. I could sit here and write all day about why Judas is a great cure for anyone’s will to live…. A) because I suck at writing and it takes me 5X longer than most people………B) because Matt has been stabbing and twisting knives in peoples vertebrae for quite sometime now.
*** I am sitting next to Judas right now in the car and he caught wind about me telling this anecdote and he just calmly whispered into my ear “Don’t start anything you can’t finish.” Then he gave me a very creepy wink. This is a common terror tactic he uses. IF you are reading this that means I used my shiftiness and evaded his plan not to get this post on the blog at the small cost of another knife in my back and/or relatives back. ****
I am a tough kid; I got thick skin; I have become immune to Judas’s incessant onslaught of verbal daggers, or at least so I thought. A Vietnam vet wouldn’t have been mentally prepared for the sadistic behavior Matt showed on Sunday, March 1st.
Thursday, February 19th ……. It all started when we took the initial trek to Birmingham. We were jibber jabbing about our favorite fast food establishments, when myself, Simple Adam and AK47 agreed upon Taco Bell being a premier player in the fast food game. It is a known fact that Matt hates Taco Bell. The only reason he hates it, by the way, is because it has more than two ingredients in its meals…. Matt hasn’t grown out of the cut my crust off and I want everything plain stage of his life yet. So Simple Adam, AK47, Judas, and I all agreed that it was time for Judas to expand his horizons and welcome Taco Bell into his life. The plan was that myself, Simple Adam and AK47 would all purchase Judas our favorite thing off Tacos Bell’s menu. So it was settled Matt had given us his word to give Taco Bell a whirl next time we went there….….. At this point in the trip I believe is when Judas started to conjure up his sick plan.
Sunday, March 1st… The Day started out normal enough with the four of us lying around Logan’s living room, Adam was watching the Loserville Retardnals put a hurting on the Golden eagles, I was thinking about where to eat lunch, AK47 was eating Peanut Butter Ranch and chip sandwich and calling that his lunch, and Matt was sharpening his knives. Once the ReCards went in for halftime Adams mind had shifted to food, AK47 realized that his deece sandwich wouldn’t suffice, and Judas’s Daggers were ready to be cast. Immediately, Simple Adam, AK47 and I all knew we were thinking outside the bun. Judas’s sudden realization that today was his day to make good with taco bell made him shake like an epileptic in a strobe light. To Judas’s credit he did get in the car with the plan of trying TBell. While in the car on the way to the Bell Judas started laying his ground work. Three minutes into the trip Matt had backed out of letting us order for him and convinced us to let him order for himself. That to me seemed fine because I no longer had to pay for it, and it was nice to see the young man taking some initiative. So me, Judas and AK47 ( who is not all the way familiar with Judas’s ways yet) walk into Taco Beazy. I was filled with glee because I thought we were about to witness the beginnings of a long and prosperous relationship between Matt and The Bell. Hopes of him ordering a Crunchwrap and a Nacho Supreme were dancing in my head. He walked up to the counter and AK47 and I payed close attention, then those words came out of his mouth, words that will forever be engrained in my memory. “Can I have a PH2?” A PH What? Me and AK looked at eachother like Matt was saddle bagging us the whole time and was such a patron of Taco Bell that he had his own order….. As I turned my back on Judas and looked up at the menu I felt the first dagger go in… I realized that we were at a Pizza Hut Taco Bell combo guard, and Judas had just ordered solely off the Pizza Hut menu…. No crunchwrap, no nacho supreme, no cheesy beefy burrito, nothing but a $6.00 personal pan pizza and some bread sticks. I could deal with this pain, I had felt it many times before being around Judas so much, but the look in my man AK47’s eyes was gut wrenching. It was like everything he had known to be right with this world was swept out from under him. All I could do was be his shoulder to cry on and rub iodine on the cuts on his back……..
We dined in and the only sounds were heard during lunch were the sounds of AK47s heart breaking and the Cops voice from the Junkyard in Sandlot (Squintz’s great great grandfather) saying PH2….PH2. **** I am putting this part in here only so Judas cant complain… after he ate his PH2 and I went back to the counter to get Simple Adam a to go order. Judas had the audacity to ask me to order him a quesadilla. I laughed in his face. If I have taken this too far I’m sorry… This post was really just a chance for me to vent. Judas is going to attempt a witty rebuttal to this post for sure, he may turn some of you lesser intelligent readers against me….. but that’s fine cause one day he will stab you in the back.
Beau Beckman
Many of you probably know Matt Gandolfo as the nice, happy go lucky, charismatic guy that he pretends to be. A select few of us ( Cresca’ Estates tenets) know Matt Gandolfo as the Emperor of Back Stabbers or Mr. Fake nice guy or his most common alias, Judas. I could sit here and write all day about why Judas is a great cure for anyone’s will to live…. A) because I suck at writing and it takes me 5X longer than most people………B) because Matt has been stabbing and twisting knives in peoples vertebrae for quite sometime now.
*** I am sitting next to Judas right now in the car and he caught wind about me telling this anecdote and he just calmly whispered into my ear “Don’t start anything you can’t finish.” Then he gave me a very creepy wink. This is a common terror tactic he uses. IF you are reading this that means I used my shiftiness and evaded his plan not to get this post on the blog at the small cost of another knife in my back and/or relatives back. ****
I am a tough kid; I got thick skin; I have become immune to Judas’s incessant onslaught of verbal daggers, or at least so I thought. A Vietnam vet wouldn’t have been mentally prepared for the sadistic behavior Matt showed on Sunday, March 1st.
Thursday, February 19th ……. It all started when we took the initial trek to Birmingham. We were jibber jabbing about our favorite fast food establishments, when myself, Simple Adam and AK47 agreed upon Taco Bell being a premier player in the fast food game. It is a known fact that Matt hates Taco Bell. The only reason he hates it, by the way, is because it has more than two ingredients in its meals…. Matt hasn’t grown out of the cut my crust off and I want everything plain stage of his life yet. So Simple Adam, AK47, Judas, and I all agreed that it was time for Judas to expand his horizons and welcome Taco Bell into his life. The plan was that myself, Simple Adam and AK47 would all purchase Judas our favorite thing off Tacos Bell’s menu. So it was settled Matt had given us his word to give Taco Bell a whirl next time we went there….….. At this point in the trip I believe is when Judas started to conjure up his sick plan.
Sunday, March 1st… The Day started out normal enough with the four of us lying around Logan’s living room, Adam was watching the Loserville Retardnals put a hurting on the Golden eagles, I was thinking about where to eat lunch, AK47 was eating Peanut Butter Ranch and chip sandwich and calling that his lunch, and Matt was sharpening his knives. Once the ReCards went in for halftime Adams mind had shifted to food, AK47 realized that his deece sandwich wouldn’t suffice, and Judas’s Daggers were ready to be cast. Immediately, Simple Adam, AK47 and I all knew we were thinking outside the bun. Judas’s sudden realization that today was his day to make good with taco bell made him shake like an epileptic in a strobe light. To Judas’s credit he did get in the car with the plan of trying TBell. While in the car on the way to the Bell Judas started laying his ground work. Three minutes into the trip Matt had backed out of letting us order for him and convinced us to let him order for himself. That to me seemed fine because I no longer had to pay for it, and it was nice to see the young man taking some initiative. So me, Judas and AK47 ( who is not all the way familiar with Judas’s ways yet) walk into Taco Beazy. I was filled with glee because I thought we were about to witness the beginnings of a long and prosperous relationship between Matt and The Bell. Hopes of him ordering a Crunchwrap and a Nacho Supreme were dancing in my head. He walked up to the counter and AK47 and I payed close attention, then those words came out of his mouth, words that will forever be engrained in my memory. “Can I have a PH2?” A PH What? Me and AK looked at eachother like Matt was saddle bagging us the whole time and was such a patron of Taco Bell that he had his own order….. As I turned my back on Judas and looked up at the menu I felt the first dagger go in… I realized that we were at a Pizza Hut Taco Bell combo guard, and Judas had just ordered solely off the Pizza Hut menu…. No crunchwrap, no nacho supreme, no cheesy beefy burrito, nothing but a $6.00 personal pan pizza and some bread sticks. I could deal with this pain, I had felt it many times before being around Judas so much, but the look in my man AK47’s eyes was gut wrenching. It was like everything he had known to be right with this world was swept out from under him. All I could do was be his shoulder to cry on and rub iodine on the cuts on his back……..
We dined in and the only sounds were heard during lunch were the sounds of AK47s heart breaking and the Cops voice from the Junkyard in Sandlot (Squintz’s great great grandfather) saying PH2….PH2. **** I am putting this part in here only so Judas cant complain… after he ate his PH2 and I went back to the counter to get Simple Adam a to go order. Judas had the audacity to ask me to order him a quesadilla. I laughed in his face. If I have taken this too far I’m sorry… This post was really just a chance for me to vent. Judas is going to attempt a witty rebuttal to this post for sure, he may turn some of you lesser intelligent readers against me….. but that’s fine cause one day he will stab you in the back.
Beau Beckman
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Sunday Reflections
Adam here. We've been traveling now for officially 10 days now and I am completely enjoying every minute of it. We just got back from the Phoenix Suns v. LA Lakers game much thanks to Mayer, Logan. The National Basketball Association is basically the Ringling Bros. with a basketball side show. Every dead ball, there were slam dunking gorillas, babes dancing, free taco giveaways, loud music, and any other kind of shit show bonanza you can think of. Nonetheless, it was a flipping awesome time. I got to see my favorite NBA player of all time, Shaq O'Neal, aka Diesel, aka Shaqalicious, aka the Big Shaqtus. I also got to see Kobe, who proceeded to drop 49. The Suns won and Andrew and I def partook in "Beat L.A." chants. Thanks Train.
Tomorrow we head North towards Sedona and the Grand Canyon. I can't wait to see the big ass hole in the ground. If it is not too cold, we are going to attempt to camp out there for the night.
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY:
-- There are no native Phoenicians. Phoenix is an ultimate melting pot.
-- I fucking love America.
-- I wish I could putt better.
-- Shaq might be the coolest person ever invented.
-- Grizzly Adams did have a beard.
-- I fucking love America.
"The minorities out here love me." --Logan Mayer
Go Cards,
Adam Corbett Shircliff the First
Tomorrow we head North towards Sedona and the Grand Canyon. I can't wait to see the big ass hole in the ground. If it is not too cold, we are going to attempt to camp out there for the night.
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY:
-- There are no native Phoenicians. Phoenix is an ultimate melting pot.
-- I fucking love America.
-- I wish I could putt better.
-- Shaq might be the coolest person ever invented.
-- Grizzly Adams did have a beard.
-- I fucking love America.
"The minorities out here love me." --Logan Mayer
Go Cards,
Adam Corbett Shircliff the First
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